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You say you want to bend a spoon? You just get what those people are talking about. It is not that Britney Spears denies that she is a sexual icon, or that she disputes that American men are fascinated with the concept of the wet-hot virgin, or that she feels her success says nothing about what our society fantasizes about. Optimistic thirteen-year-old girls could imagine Justin as the ultimate gentleman, perfectly content to keep his paws to himself while the foxiest girl on the planet sat around the house in her underwear, sucking on Popsicles and telling him to wait until she was ready. I don't have to deal with those people.

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And what those twenty million people see is something that Britney sees -- and perhaps Britney understands -- in a way that most of us do not.

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Category: Britney Spears

But if you're remotely interested in the cylinders that drive pop culture, it's hard to overestimate her significance. Oh, and did I mention she's pantless? This is why it was so jarring to hear Fred Durst graphically discussing his alleged sexual dalliances with Spears on The Howard Stern Show in February. Compared with the depletion of the ozone layer or the political future of Arnold Schwarzenegger, I concede that the existence of Britney Spears is light-years beyond trivial.

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